Single or not to be?

I am sitting alone at work, feeling bored, staring blankly at walls and on my laptop. Hmmm waiting for the right time to really be alone and start watching my drama. Checking grammar mistakes on my posts but feeling lazy to edit them. Forget about it. Too much things stored in my mind making my head empty.

What should I do?

I'm just a very simple and down-to-earth guy. But somehow I feel insecure, felt like whoever that I like will end up cheating on me.Is it because of my past experience or is it just me going crazy? Can't help myself from overthinking something that's so straightforward and basically there's no other reason behind it but it's just my imagination and assumption. Sometimes I even overthink what not to overthink., Anyone got a solution for this? Am I feeling insecure towards myself or the other person?    

Sigh... Life is tough as it is and here I am thinking of nonsense and trying to be a "detective" checking on everything (some of you might know what I meant). Crazy thoughts like maybe that person is with someone else right now, kissing and hugging and maybe fucking all night long. These are all abnormal thoughts. Gosh. When will I be able to grow up and just don't give a fuck about all these things? If that certain someone wanted to do all that, there's nothing I could do to have stopped all those from happening. Maybe it's time to just be single and shut myself out from all the relationship possibilities?

Here are the self-deceiving reason why I should stay single:

1) Nothing to be worried about

2) No one to report to

3) I can go with whoever I want

4) I can go anywhere whenever I want to.

5) No imaginations and hallucinations

6) Nothing to expect and nothing to be disappointed at.

7) You're in charge of your happiness

8) You sleep more soundly

9) You have richer friendships

10) I can love myself more

Well, who I am trying to kid? Who doesn't need a life-long partner? 

But to be questioning the other party all the time is really tiring and a waste of time.

Hopefully one day i'll be on level 100 to just don't give a fuck about everything.

My Virgin Post

Model Wannabe... :P

So this is me and here I am creating a new blog... Starting a new career... Not sure where i'm heading but i'll get somewhere somehow. It's not easy to accept having one of your dream career go down the hill just like that. I'm sure a lot of you out there do understand how i'm feeling right now if you were in this situation before... Love hate relationship is going on with my new career right now, not sure if this is the right path for me or should I just venture out and try different options but what to expect if you don't have the qualification and all? Just gonna see how it goes while trying to do my best in everything.

Oh yeah and one more thing, to those blogger that's not active anymore, please deactivate your account or something. So damn difficult for me to get a domain where there's no one using it. Took me hours just to create a new domain. I'm sure if i'm not active anymore i'll just deactivate this account since i wouldn't want anyone to see my previous posts and stuffs.

And to all those colleagues that's always making people's life miserable, you better stop tormenting everyone around you because its already not easy dealing with different types of customer when everyone have different personalities, attitudes and expectations. Why make your colleagues life harder than it already is if you're in the same industry yourself. Buzz off if you're trying to win the Oscar award for being the most bitchy in a organization.

Should I try to go into modelling and fashion industry? Some told me that I do have the qualities and some (ugly ones) just told me to forget about it. Urghhh it's so annoying when you're not even there yourself and you're trying to give me some shit advice. FYI I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR FUCKING OPINION so why don't you roll away before I stick my feet down your throat (unless you want it to be something else) :D

Okay so I guess this is where i'll stop today and just hope that people that have been in a few of my situations before, will be able to relate to my feelings. Hope this is not too boring for my first posts. Not sure which direction is my blog heading to though. Need some advice in blogging !!